Some things I can't hate
by Ninja Sheeps
Summary: She hated her, she hated how her hair ran in endless loops of glistening gold, entangling with the shimmering stars that were so carefully crafted into her pristine locks. She hated how her eyes resembled the sweetest thing, the gooey but melting texture of chocolate, so innocent but yet gleaming with undeniable beauty but some things she couldn't hate.


**Random drabbles, I have major writers block at the moment**

**I don't think its worth the read but enjoy.**

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She wanted to-do nothing but cry, the emptiness over-bearing and suffocating her like a rope, that tugged down on the fragile condition of her heart, beckoning for the ice she so longed for. This feeling was wretched that throbbed with the slight jealously of seeing Lucy near her beloved Gray.

She hated her, she hated how her hair ran in endless loops of glistening gold, entangling with the shimmering stars that were so carefully crafted into her pristine locks. She hated how her eyes resembled the sweetest thing, the gooey but melting texture of chocolate, so innocent but yet gleaming with undeniable beauty. She hated how her figure curved in desirable ways that appeased to men, the ample chest that was described as heavenly. She had every quality Juvia wanted, Juvia was the opposite.

Juvia hated how her hair curled into salty waves, the color not light or illusive, but the dark murky color that donned each of her forsaken locks. Juvia hated her tainted eyes; Juvia hated the hues that shrouded in the filthy and dingy fog of blue but being dark as the evening sky. Juvia hated how she looked, talked and even walked; Juvia hated her existence and hated everything around her.

Juvia hated how Lucy emanated like a flawless star, which belonged in the top of the spinning globe. Juvia hated how she belonged on the bottom of the world, underneath everyone else. Juvia hated how she shined, her aura transmitting such strength while Juvia emitted with gloom and dullness. Juvia hated how she was the alluring Goddess while Juvia was nothing more than the droplets of water, which formed the composure despicable existence she hated.

Juvia did hate everything about Lucy but some things Juvia knew that she couldn't hate, the passionate touches that were always so warm, her fingers caressing so delicately and would always be soft as cotton. Juvia couldn't hate the angelic smile that spread over her gentle features, oozing with such purity that would make the devil blind. Juvia loved the senseless heart that was always abided by the duty of her guild, the unwavering feeling of never giving up and always trying to counter any situation. Juvia hated how she admired the traits that she possessed; Juvia hated how she became so friendly with her proclaimed love-rival, Juvia hated how she was starting to like Lucy.

Juvia began to notice certain things that made Lucy who she was, she signature side-pony tail that was always tied into her glorious appearance. Juvia always wondered why Lucy went to the extent she did for her guild, it wasn't unfathomable but she always seemed to give everything her all, despite how grim the situation was. Juvia began to progress knowing Lucy on a level she didn't want to know, getting closer and breaking that barrier. Juvia always vowed it was taboo to never associate with Lucy, never touch the forbidden fruit or even take a glance. Juvia wanted to stop herself from slowly unraveling the chains which prevented her from getting to know Lucy, why was she so hesitant? Gray was an additional factor to the whole equation and probably the sole root of this blossoming cause. Did she love Gray? She felt that like she couldn't answer that question honestly or afraid of what her heart might say, this battling confliction was being to strain Juvia beyond words. Juvia never understood Love, was it something deeper than what your heart pumped for?

When did she start feeling for both, rather than the desirable ice-mage she thought she loved? It was becoming an occurring predicament, was it when she and Lucy joined powers? Both becoming one and blending into one perfect essence, harmonizing on levels greater than she did with Gray. She felt the coursing power of Lucy, the glow of light that was flooding out from her body; she could feel the determination, the brimming emotion, she was one with Lucy. She had a similar experience with Gray but it wasn't quite the same, she felt she could take on the world with Lucy, anything was possible but with harmonizing with Gray, a piece didn't fit together and something missing from the wondrous painted of being together with Gray. Gray didn't take any notice of her, thinking she was a hindrance to every job they acquired, not once did he ever declare any love or indication.

She shook her head, this was puzzling but she would never forsake these feelings of love. She loved Gray and would always love him, but a part of her did belong to Lucy, a tiny particle that flew from what she wanted, sprouting wings from each tale she encountered Lucy and moving forward. Developing with something more than just friends, Juvia wanted to scream so badly, she really did. Why was thinking this? Juvia loved Gray! She mentally screamed, over and over again. She kept up with the useless sentence, trying to convince herself and denying the already obvious. She hated most about the celestial maiden but she hated her own feelings the most.

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Every Review, view or click is appreciated.

Sorry for the jumble of mess, my mind was blank and somehow created this.

Love.

L.H


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